Crazy Town
by freedomfighter82
Summary: What will happen when Tom wakes up to absolute mayhem? Read and find out! One-shot, R&R!


Hello everyone! I know, I've been away FOREVER! Sorry about that. As soon as I can find my disk, I will update Visitor, but until then, I give you this! I was in an EXTREMELY goofy mood and I had nothing better to do, so I decided to write this! Also, it's written after the movie, with Quatermain alive and Dorian not. And, I'm not paying any attention to eras and times and what was invented when. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I am back, just in desperate need of finding a disk! ENJOY! Also, as usual, I do not own the LXG. Not to say that I won't (clicks her nails together and grins maliciously. Evil laughter ensues) Oh, a-HEM! You're still here. SORRY! Moving on!

_Oh, man am I tired_, Tom thought to himself as he got ready for bed. He slipped under his covers and turned out the lamp next to his bed. Almost as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was fast asleep. But then he was awoken by a loud shriek and he felt a body hit his bed. He sat up and saw…nothing! But then he heard drunken laughter and nearly kicked himself for being such an idiot.

"SKINNER! What the hell are you doing in my room?" He heard more drunken giggling and then a loud thump as the invisible Skinner fell off Tom's bed.

"Thomas! Buddy ol' pal!" Tom felt Skinner's arms fall loosely around his shoulders and he was hugged.

"Uh, Skinner? You're kind of frightening me." Skinner didn't let go. Suddenly, there was a loud THUNK overhead as if someone had fallen and Tom heard more giggling. "Alright, that's it! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" Tom threw Skinner's arms off and jumped out of bed.

As Skinner spoke, he hiccupped, which was extremely annoying to Tom. "We're having a (hic) party! Come (hic) join us!"

"How about not? Would you just get out of my room?" Skinner laughed, grabbed Tom's hand and pulled him out the door. As they left the room, Tom could hear people singing very badly. Skinner kept pulling him to the dining hall, which was situated above Tom's room. Tom could hear the singing get louder and louder and could finally make out the words.

"I'M HENRY THE EIGHTH I AM, HENRY THE EIGHTH I AM I AM! I GOT MARRIED TO THE WIDOW NEXT DOOR! SHE'S BEEN MARRIED SEVEN TIMES BEFORE! AND EVERYONE WAS A HENRY! HENRY! WOULDN'T TAKE A WILLY OR A SAM! OR A SAM! I'M HER EIGHTH OLD MAN I'M HENRY! HENRY THE EIGHTH I AM! SECOND VERSE SAME AS THE FIRST!" and the song repeated. Tom had never before heard anything more obnoxious. Tom was greatly frightened now, and was tugging away from Skinner, who apparently when drunk, got stronger.

"Come on, Tommy ol' boy! It's FUN!" and with that remark, Skinner opened the doors. The dining room was in complete disarray. There was confetti on the ground, crepe paper hanging from the chandeliers, sailors on tables singing, and the most strange of all, Quatermain, Nemo, and Jekyll were standing on the center table, singing the lyrics to the song louder than everyone else. Mina was dancing around the room, throwing confetti and crepe paper everywhere. Sailors were dancing and drinking, and Skinner was laughing at it all, while Tom stood stock still, trying to figure out who spiked the sherry.

Mina came up to him and blew confetti in his face, then laughed and grabbed his hands. She twirled him around and threw him in a chair, singing the obnoxious lyrics (which didn't seem to end!) as she did it. Mina grabbed more crepe paper and wrapped it around Tom, laughing and singing. Tom, who was not laughing or singing, was yelling at her to stop.

"MINA! LEAVE ME ALONE!" At that, Quatermain jumped down and helped Mina in wrapping Tom up. Somehow, Quatermain had found some silly string and was squirting it around Tom. Everyone now and then he would squirt some in Mina's mouth and she would eat it. Tom looked at everyone wildly, wondering what in the world was going on.

He suddenly heard Nemo yell, "BOOMERANG TIME!" and without warning, boomerangs started whizzing around. At some point, people started using bananas as boomerangs, so Nemo then yelled, "BANANA TIME!" Tom broke away from Mina and Quatermain and ran to the doors. Unfortunately for him, they wouldn't open!

Tom turned around and saw Mina, Quatermain, Skinner (now wearing his black coat, which was covered in confetti and silly string), Jekyll, and Nemo coming toward him, arms extended. Tom screamed and turned back around. He felt hands rain down on his back and they pulled him from the doors. They pushed Tom into a different chair and started singing the song to him.

Skinner threw confetti while Mina and Jekyll wrapped him in crepe paper and Quatermain and Nemo sprayed silly string on him. Tom was yelling over the singing and suddenly he felt a hand on his back and he bolted up.

Tom was in his room! "Oh, thank God! It was just a dream!"

"What was just a dream?" Tom yelped and looked over and saw Skinner standing there, fully dressed.

"Oh, it was awful! Everyone had gone crazy and I was the only sane one!" Skinner laughed and said, "That won't happen, mate. You're no saner than anyone else on this ship. Here, you missed breakfast, so I brought you some bananas." Tom looked up, his eyes wild, as Skinner started to softly sing, "I'm Henry the eighth I am, Henry the eighth, I am, I am."

Tom began screaming and pulled the sheets over his head. Skinner looked at him like he was crazy and said, "I take it you don't like that song?"

There you are, my insane feelings for the day! Boy, was I in a mood! Hope you enjoyed, sorry if it was a little fast-paced. Love, freedom.


End file.
